While iTunes has always asterisked potentially offensive entries in its database, recently the UK version of the music retailer went on a censoring binge that blanked out hundreds of inoffensive song titles and artist names. The Dick Van Dyke song from Mary Poppins was changed to “The D**k Van D**e” song. Danny Kaye’s innocent little tune “I Thought I Saw a Pussy Cat” became “I Thought I Saw a P***y Cat.” Stranger yet, Johnny Cash and Johnny Mathis had their first names reduced to “J*****y” and Avril Lavigne’s “Hot” read “H*t.”

Is J****y – er, Johnny – used in the UK as slang for a body part? Seriously, I can’t imagine why they’d censor that. Then again, I can’t imagine why they’d censor the word “hot,” either, so we’ll chalk it up to an honest mistake.

“The Quietus kept our article up the longest and, as no non-disclosure agreement had been signed, [was] not prepared to remove it merely due to the demands of Metallica’s management,” Turner continued. “We only eventually removed the article earlier today to protect the professional interests of the writer concerned (the piece was written anonymously).”

Metallica has a long history of alienating their biggest fans, and clearly fears digital media, but this feels clumsy and ham-fisted even for them. If the album mix wasn’t final, they shouldn’t have invited writers to listen to it and then act shocked when they, you know, wrote about it.

It’s worth noting that iTunes got around this point, to an extent, for a long time by providing a seamless user experience. And because iPods are far and away the best selling digital audio players, iPod owners didn’t really care that their iTunes-purchased music would only play on an iPod. Nonetheless, even Apple now offers DRM-free tracks from several labels, as do several other retailers.

Sony BMG appears to be missing the point of downloaded music entirely with their latest initiative, however. Yes, they are offering DRM-free tracks. But you have to go to a retail store to buy a card which will then let you go home and download your chosen album. Frankly, I’m baffled. It requires all of the trouble of going to a store to buy a CD, but without the satisfaction of owning a physical object.

And the music industry has the gall to complain about bleeding money.

UPDATE (1/11/07): I’m glad to learn that this isn’t the *only* way Sony BMG will be selling DRM-free music. They are also making their “entire catalog available” on Amazon’s MP3 digital music store.

While the record industry blames the Internet, let’s remember the music trends that precipitated the industry’s fall. Boy bands? Bubblegum pop? Nu Metal?! I don’t think anyone thought these were artists with substance and staying power. I remember more than a few “modern rock” radio stations that couldn’t survive when the bottom fell out of that one – Now they’re either country, classic rock or “Jack” stations, which don’t adhere to any particular format. At the time, of course, there was nothing a good “Hit Me Baby One More Time” or “Nookie” couldn’t do for you:

Just a few years ago, many industry executives thought their problems could be solved by bigger hits. “There wasn’t anything a good hit couldn’t fix for these guys,” says a source who worked closely with top executives earlier this decade. “They felt like things were bad and getting worse, but I’m not sure they had the bandwidth to figure out how to fix it. Now, very few of those people are still heads of the companies.”

The industry went for the easy fix, but it’s risky to live and die by the blockbuster. This business model is quite different than the industry of several decades ago, where artists were allowed to grow and stay with the label even with modest-selling albums.

As the article points out, thirst for music has not waned. Touring bands are raking in record money, as are digital download services like iTunes. Nearly every band gives a few songs away for free on their Web pages or on sites like MySpace, which certainly isn’t hurting for users. So while plenty of artists are circumventing the traditional path to success of “getting discovered” and being signed to a major label, the labels continue to suffer. Unfortunately for them, their bone-headed business decisions, contempt for their consumers and the inability to change in the face of new technology has them teetering on the brink of irrelevance.