While iTunes has always asterisked potentially offensive entries in its database, recently the UK version of the music retailer went on a censoring binge that blanked out hundreds of inoffensive song titles and artist names. The Dick Van Dyke song from Mary Poppins was changed to “The D**k Van D**e” song. Danny Kaye’s innocent little tune “I Thought I Saw a Pussy Cat” became “I Thought I Saw a P***y Cat.” Stranger yet, Johnny Cash and Johnny Mathis had their first names reduced to “J*****y” and Avril Lavigne’s “Hot” read “H*t.”

Is J****y – er, Johnny – used in the UK as slang for a body part? Seriously, I can’t imagine why they’d censor that. Then again, I can’t imagine why they’d censor the word “hot,” either, so we’ll chalk it up to an honest mistake.

As good a game as the Instinct talks, it won’t matter for two reasons. First, Apple has won the PR war. It’s become the Kleenex or the Xerox of touch-screen smartphones. Any phone with similar features will be compared to the iPhone, and knockoffs, no matter how well made, will still be seen as knockoffs, at least for the foreseeable future. It’s like the Gamera to the iPhone’s Godzilla. Yeah, they’re both giant, bipedal reptiles that emit flames and trash cities, but if you were to describe Gamera to people on the street, they’d say, “Oh, he’s like Godzilla?” (Answer: Pretty much, but he’s a turtle.)

How did Apple capture the hearts and minds of so many with the iPhone? They made an awesome product and it was the first of its kind. As we know, first counts for a lot in marketing. A whole lot.

Second, Apple has made a habit of unveiling updated products that blow the doors off of the competition – and when the competition comes close to catching up, Steve Jobs yawns, calls for a keynote, and unveils new versions that leave competitors scrambling to incorporate similar features into their products. They’ve been so consistent that people are willing to wait out competing products with (temporarily) superior features in order to get their hands on Apple’s latest and greatest a short time later.

It’s a simple mission that may be difficult to implement, but will always lead to success: Be first or be dramatically better than the others right off the bat, and then never let up on the competition. In doing so, you’ll own your niche, and that’s where the money is.

Look at a company like Palm. They created the PDA space with the Palm Pilot, and were primed to take the smartphone market with the Treo. Unfortunately the software couldn’t keep up with the evolution of the hardware, other products like Windows Mobile and BlackBerry passed them up, and even Palm loyalists decided they simply couldn’t wait for Palm to release a product that compared to what else was out there. Palm sold its software division to a Chinese company and now puts out Treos that run Microsoft Software and use BlackBerry Connect. Although they created their niche, they didn’t work to keep it filled, and other companies were happy to fill it for them.

I wouldn’t worry about a similar fate befalling Apple anytime soon.

“At point blank range an AK-47 round is devastating and has a decent chance of passing through the Interceptor body armor vests used by Army soldiers, but the iPod apparently slowed the bullet enough to be stopped completely by Garrad’s vest. From the picture, it appears that the iPod was hit in the upper-right front corner and the bullet exited out the back.”

Here are the Flickr images. Hopefully Apple gets this guy a shiny new 80 gig model to replace this one, even though I don’t think “bullet damage” is covered by the warranty.

UPDATE: OK, while I was initially blown away by the iPhone (and still think it’s a remarkably hot piece of gear), I’ve had a little time for the features and specs to sink in. I currently use a Palm Treo 650 as my mobile device, which features both a touchscreen and QWERTY keypad for data entry. Using the touchscreen pretty much sucks, since there’s no tactile feedback, and when composing text messages or e-mails on the road that feedback is crucial. I’m also concerned about the battery life and durability of the iPhone, since anyone who owns an iPod knows it’s notoriously vulnerable to scratches.

Nonetheless, Apple has again raised the bar for design, and I have no doubts the iPhone will be the luxury phone of choice (at $499 for 4GB and $599 for 8GB with two-year contract) for many. Companies like Palm and RIM should take notice, though, that people really do care about what their phones look like, and let’s face it – the Treo and Blackberry aren’t exactly stylin’, even if they do and probably will continue to provide the best solution for e-mail on the go.

A man in Ireland was so fed up with having to continually repair his G5 iMac, he threatened to take a 156-mile walk to the nearest Apple repair center with his computer strapped to his back. From Ars Technica:

After issues with his iMac G5 surfaced, including several logic board
replacements, a new power supply, and perhaps the most important
replacement: the back casing, Apple agreed on August, 14 to replace his
ailing iMac. They just needed to send out his new iMac after they
picked up the old one. Well apparently a week is unacceptable and Mr.
Hayden, the customer in question, has decided to walk to the nearest
Apple service center to deliver the iMac back to Apple, a walk that he
has labeled the "Walk of Shame."

Apple learned of the planned walk, and soon the man received a call from Apple’s Head of Corporate Affairs. 90 minutes later, a brand-new iMac was on the man’s doorstep.

I’ve heard of some pretty amazing cases of customer service after disgruntled customers staged elaborate protests or posted negative stories about a product on their blogs. This story might take the cake, though. Aside from generating good will among one customer, Apple avoided a potentially embarassing (negative) publicity stunt.

However, I hope copycats don’t get any ideas from this guy…